Hmm. Life.

Oy vey. What is my life?

Question of the day: Is it better to love someone who loves you for who you are with all your faullts..or someone who loves you and pushes you to be better, even if it might hurt?

Hmm.

Workin on that confidence thing.

It's challenging to bring back what I gained from Italy to Irvine. Irvine just isn't where I belong but that doesn't mean that I can't make the best of this year. and I FREAKING plan on it. Met someone knew today...and reconnected with someone old. I know people and I am worth knowing. I am fun, thoughtful, loving, passionate and I care about people and the world.

There really is no reason to doubt yourself. Like really.

I'm going to take risks.

Tomorrow I'm going to Improv, I've decided. Livin' the life.

Love my roomies. LOVE them.

Gonna work on being my best self. And that involves looking fierce and walkin' tall.

Tomorrow we work monologues. and the singing shall prevail.

I can't do insanity anymore because it makes me so tired that i don't have enough energy to really sing. and my dreams are coming true this year.


I'm feeling a little down. But it'll get better.

Goodnight y'all.

Love Hanna

Good things that happened today

-made it to class at a decent time

-ran into happy people at Zot N Go

-had a happy interchange with zot n go employee :)

-got stuff done

-drank an aloe water :)

-chatted with holy

- sat next to a good friend in class today

-walked home with earlier happy people

gonna go sing!

-looked cute

-felt like myself :)

YAAY WORLD

LA-HIFE

No one ever leaves any comments. It makes me sad.

Well. It's the end of an era.

but also the beginning of a new positive, strong, sparkly one.

So let's get my ass into MT 2!

WHOO.

I hate smokers. Especially the ones who keep cigarettes behind their ears. Like really? Do you think it's cool to slowly kill yourself and others around you and then wear it like a badge to rep how cool you think you are? GROW UP!! FUCK@!!

On another note: so what...Am I like not good enough? Cuz..in case you hadn't noticed I'm Hanna Schultheis fuckin Gerry! I don't FUH-REAKING understand.

aghhh. I feel replaced...and..just..yeah..

I've been out and about for almost 12 hours now. and got very little sleep due to excitement about show, stress over singing, a heartbreaking moment I experienced yesterday and probably a million other things. SO..I'm all KINDS OF WONKY.

BUT I HAD AN AMAZING SINGING PRACTICE SESSION WITH MYSELF TODAY!! its the best I've sounded in like..maybe ever..Hallelujah! I will practice EVERYDAY THIS WEEEEEKKKKK AAHAH

AND IM ALMOST OFF BOOK!!!!! AHAHHA TAKE THAT SUCKAS!!

I appreciate my familia and think it's rad how active they all are. Rock it out peeps.

OH SHIZ. I was gonna call my grandma today. TOMORROW!

I also love my 121 family. THANKS GIRLIES!! Y'ALL SUPPORT AND LOVE ME AND I AM SENDING IT RIGHT BACK!

Every time I work I feel like I need to quit. HELP.


2 more hours to go. Please God, PLEASE let the time pass quickly.

YACK..my hands smell like keys...

Yeah..so..you missed out, homie. You missed the fuck out.

"SHAME COME TO ROMEO!"

What is fascinating about life is that one or two parts of it can be going really well, when another is just going pretty lousily. Hmm. Who knew. Happiness and sucky-ness exist in all kinds of ways.

I freaking need a new job...rounds in 8 mins.

tata for now readers..there are like 5 of you..so ROCK ON!!

Go make the world a better place :) and don't make somebody think you lurv when you don't. Cuz that shit is just unnecessary.

PEACE.

Hanna.

lalalalife

Okay. So today started off schmarrffyy..then proceeded to get better and is now back to schmarff..SO LETS GET HAPPY!

okokoko GOOD THINGS:
I am alive!

I can walk and have normal human functions!yes!

I have come a long way in my voice lessons :D

I can afford to feed and house myself :D

I have friends and am in college and believe in my self!!

I have a job!

I'm getting crew units! tis funnnnn.

And im going to BEAST out auditions during welcome week and GET CAST IN A MAINSTAGE MUAHAHAHAH YES INDEED!

I get to go home tomorrow AND SEE MY MILO!! AND MY SL PEOPLE@!! ALIVE ALIVE OH!

random side note : sometimes purple on guys is really cool..other times..its macho
douch-y and obnoxious. mmhmm. the ponderings of hanna at Gateway

Oh and I just found out that this is the first time in three years that gateway has been open during the summer. so heeeeeeey.



I am manifesting love, happiness and success into my life!!!! ***LLLLLLOOOOOVVVEEEE IIIITTTT*******

Love Hanna, just being the star that I am :D

Hmmm.

Well..I'm about to close at gateway and I just re-read that last blog I wrote that I was here. and it occurs to me that I don't sound very educated in my posts compared to my other friends that blog. But really? I don't write them to sound smart or cool. I write so I can unload this crazy thing called life from my brain and try to make sense of it and make it better. So yes.

SO things that were good today.

I practiced singing and dancing and got a lot of work done for my stage management presentation.
I napped.

I made some money.

neg: I felt bad for not practicing either of those things exstensively

I felt guilty for napping

maybe I can let those things go.

I will.

Tomorrow: another productive day. whoooooooo.

Trying to stay on the right path

So. Well. Hmm. It's the first week of Summer Session II and it's been up and down. Therapy was on Wednesday which was very empowering and it just became apparent to me that I have grown a lot and am going to be okay. TUesday was my first day of class. Intro to Stage Management kinda stresses me out because it's not something I'm totes into nor something I really have experience with so its new and scary. EEK. But The business of show business is LOVE. ahh yes. Yesterday we watched the video of The Secret which was very inspiring. It's the second time I've seen it and so I was refreshed and ready to put it into my life. But I've had an impossible time! AAAH. Maybe I'm just hella negative and have so many bad thoughts that they cancel out my positive thoughts :( Or fuck I dont know. But i left class feeling good and then went home and had a frustrating singing lesson and had a stupid time in the gym and it's like WTF I affirmed that I was going to be productive and an awesome singer! And then today..AHHHHHHH i had suc ha discouraging lesson when I deliberately was like "I
'm going to have a good lesson today"..so WHAT WENT WRONG? how am i supposed to get into MT 2 is my voice teacher thinks i've reached a wall that i may not get over! Thats not encouraging! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I a;slfka'fk'fka'fl I'm super pouty and i just wanna eat chocolate and cry and punch things. I need HELP! HOW DID I GET SO OFF TRACK! WHAT AM I DOING!? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

k..brb rounds..at work..AGH


rjeklfsadadjkl

ok whatever I DONT KNOW

Button Willow Locomotive Brighter Than Sunshine

Button Willow Locomotive Brighter Than Sunshine


VOTE!!!!!!!!!!!!! and leave reviews!

THEATRE-my dear dear amigo

I felt weird about putting this up on facebook, but i still wanted to do it. SO BLOG

1. What was the first play you ever did?
Hanna and Miranda in Second Grade- Written, directed and starring Hanna Schultheis-Gerry and Miranda Graham.

2) What was your most recent show?
Phaedra's Love

3) What was your favorite show/role you were in?
I loved loved loved Seussical, Wonderful Town and Aida

5) What is the most bizarre show or role you've ever done?
Child in Phaedra's Love. I bit a guy and played with cut-off penis. :D
6) Has anyone ever written a show for you?
no..but it will be done.

7) Have you ever quit a show to accept a better one?
Naaayyy.
8) Have you ever completely blown character on stage?
I don't think so.

10) Have you ever done one of your "dream" shows?
I dunno. But I love West Side Story.

11) Who was your favorite director?
I really like working with Catherine Heck. and Dennis Beasley. and Stacey Ardelean.

12) Who was your least favorite director?
McKinley.
13) Who have been your favorite actors to work with?
hmmm SO many!
14) Who are the actors you have least liked to work with?
maybe some peeps in high school

15) What is the most surprising role you have ever been offered?
Child in Phaedra's Love.

15) Have you ever injured yourself onstage or offstage?
probs. Nothing huge.

16) What show(s) have you done multiple times?
zero
17) Have you ever had an onstage kiss?
oui. All in the Timing and when I was understudying as Maria in West Side

18) What was your scariest moment in a show?
i dunno. Maybe when the black light didn't come on in seuss.

19) What is your best show memory?
just feeling like " This is what I'm supposed to be doing with my life" on stage as many times as I have.

20) What is your worst show memory?
The day the West Side Story cast list went up. Ouch. Those were some times.

21) What is your saddest show memory?
I dont know if I've had that many. Maybe when I wake up the next day and know I don't have rehearsal or a show to do that day.
22)What is your proudest moment on stage?
Gypsey Robe. And the two best callbacks of my life: West Side Story and Book of Tink

Summer

So...Things are pretty good.

I dunno.

I lost 4.5 lbs.

I can sing!

Drama 130 Intermediate is good! pushing me into new directions.

I am really really looking forward to doing this workshop dance thing..hopefully it will result in a performance opportunity.WHOOOO

*alright!* just did some Hannaerobics! WHOOOO

slkdjf;kldsfj;lakjf;aslkdfj

I dunno.

BLARRR>

VOTE!

Hey follorwers! I know there are like 3 of you...but Button Willow Locomotive...a Native UCI band is in a contest and these people ROCK..SO VOTE FOR THEM

currently in 3rd place...VOTE VOTE VOTE



http://www.alternativeapparel.com/unsignedartist/?pbb_qsi=44806919&=PBB_UnsignedArtistCampaign_541_PPIMEMAIL

Hmm

Well. It's been a pretty good week.

- I worked out a lot.
-realized that music is therapy.DERR. Lately country love ballads. WOOT
-I'm probably in love
-I did some good communicating
-I GOT INTO A SHOW..or a staged reading OR SOMETHING...without auditioning. WHAT?..but maybe no one had to audition. I HAVE NO IDEA WHOO
-Tomorrow I have an interview to be a peer educator at the counseling center
-I'm waiting to see if I got on interview for being an OA in AV..ole!

I just want to be loved as much i love. Or..yeah.

I also FREAKING want to ACT AND I GET TO OH EM GEE


woah..lotsa feelings

but dealing with them pretty well

HUG

HUGH HUGH

this seems rather cryptic..OH WELL

HEY. iloveyou.

NIGHT

Hanna has Insomnia

Interesting times for the Hanna.

I feel like i hear someone humming from the other room. What? it's almost 2 in the morning. Shall I investigate? YES I cannot seem to find it's source. EERY

Anyway,,AGG so I'm way afraid of Earthquakes but its okay because we are all safe and have great things in this world to do.

I notice that the majority of the time I spend on my computer, my shoulders are super tensed. UGH. LAME. Oh well. Good posture and Relaxation seem to be the key to a better life for Hanna. So we do.ñ woah! I made an en-yay. HAAA.

So let's see where am i at these days

-got an interview to be a peer educator at the counseling center. WOOT
-applying to be an OA in the AV housing office.WOOT summer job
-super excited about singing these days!
-working on knowing that I am talented and to just let go let flow and let the awesomeness OUT
- really wanting to have late night talk/hang out sessions with a couple of people...oh well..they asleep
- realizing i have a large capacity for love and for hate
-Knowing I should let things go, but not wanting to yet


I LOVE POSTSECRET

its just nice to know that everyone has crazy shit to hide and perhaps we should just all embrace our crazy ways

I wonder if I have a secret to send in..hmmm

probs

I should sleep, but im like too afraid too..thats a problem. YEESH

hmm..maybe I'll eat. I dunno

HELP

lsjdfh;ajsdhflakjsdhflakjdshfl

RAWR TASTIC

So it's spring break and I can't sleep and i've just been bumming around the house and i just feel like a blob and i hate being home and i need more purpose and adventure in my life and I'm going back to school and RAWR

"A:KSJD:AKSJD;ASKJD:ALSKDJ:ALSKDJ:ALSKDJ:LASKD

so yeah

I HATE BREAK

and i dont even really like school

I like friends and theatre
GAH WHY AM I SO ANSTY

It's unpleasant. And i have wishy-washy plans with people for the rest of the week which bugs and probably means i have to get up early-ISH and I DONT WANT TO I DONT WANT TO HAEV ANY RESPONSIBILITIES I JUST WANT TO SLEEP IN BE LAZY AND BE HAPPY..well ok for now..i mean in the real times i want to conquer the world! MUAHAHAHAHAH

I feel like I could be FEROSH on a tv show..i just have to audition! I want to audition for groundlings. I want to have a car and feel like i can drive anywhere. I want to audition for commericials..and i am glad I am taking drama 130 in the fall so i can then eventually take clowning and acting for the camera...I need to get GOING

I am going to have a solid career in the entertainment field...cuz why not?! I'm fierce. I'm awesome. I should be sharing my radness with the world.


lkajs;dlkfjsdklf I just feel like I'm crawling in my skin. WHY

AND WHY DONT YOU LOVE ME!?!?


FUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKKKKKK

i just feel like i get stuck on boys. Like ok this one who was kinda magical..didn't work out..but we are gonna have class together 2 classes twice a week, Do i sit with him cuz we're friends or cuz i lurv him? Do i avoid him because i'm hurt by him or i just need to like distance myself and move on..or should i just act like whatever everything is fine..when what i really want is for him to want me again and us to be happpy carefree crazy people.

schnarf

I HATE BEING HOME

I thought being home for like a little over a week would be good..i'd chill, sleep in, catch up with my peeps...but i've hardly seen anyone and im going cuh-razzzyyyyyyyy. THANK GOD FOR SUMMER SCHOOL!! AND i'm going to get a job AND I'm going to get into one of the summer shows and it is going to be grande! GRAND I SAY!!!!!!

Do you ever wish you could rip parts of you who are out and throw them out the window? YEESH. I do. Maybe I should read. I like reading. I even checked out two books at the library, but what happened. I dunno. I guess I lost interest. LAME.

I want my effing grades. ok well I passed bio with a B- and I got an A- in ze lovely psych class. hoping for a good GPA..Dean's list? heeeey that'd be cool

Good things that happened today:
-Worked out!
-felt cute
-sang well!
-drove!
-walked the boosha.

More good things tomorrow. Possibly hanging with molly. YAAAAAY

asdflkjsdf;lkjasd;lkfja;lksdfj;alksdjfa;lskdjf;alksdjf;adsf

SOOO I'm freaking panicking.

CUz I have this major paper to write and I don't really know how to go about it and I only have like 3 days to write 9 pages and im FREAKING OUTTTTTTTT AHHHH luckily it is just my rough draft..however...AGH

and I worry that I am coming off like a stalker..but really I just like you so like me back ok? JEEZ

and...people at UCI don't like me...WTF..and I'm realizing that maybe i shouldn't go to this stupid school

and i continue to panic


PANICC


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I HATE BOYS AND WRITING CLASS and lack of acting classes

OHHHHHHHHHHHMMMM

It shall all work out. NOW let's focus!

FA SHO!

Well it is 2:33 AM..monday morning and I cannot sleep.  Though I did finish my term paper from drama 40A. HOLLA!!   I might be in lurv, but I'm not sure.  My voice is improving. so .lalala.  I think I might get a car for xmas. WTF.  WTF.

I just want love.

I want health

I want to get into Musical Theatre 2

I want to be better then all the bitches I hate

I want swine flu to disappear

I want to have an amazing role that I totally own and that puts me on the map.

I think I want to study at groundlings.

I feel like I should get a job.

Love me! Cast me! Appreciate me!

Why can't I SLEEEEEEEEEEEEP?

Gonna check facebook to see if anyone is online...

yaaay talking to mel

ok

I wonder what we won for the K house halloween thing

GAHH I ALKSJD:ALKDJALSKDJA:LSKDJA:LSKDJ:ASLKJD:ASLKDJ:LSKDJ:ALSKD

GRRRR> GRRR I SAY!!!!!!!!!!!

OK gonna edit my pretty pretty blog now :D

CIAO

INSOMNIA

yanked from Teresa, gratzi. Countdown:Share Today at 2:54am Ten Things I Wish I Could Say to Ten Different People. (but don't say their name) 1. It's taken a really long time for me to realize that you aren't so good for me. And that's hard cuz you've been in my life forever. Sorry if I seem wierd or distant, but you let me down when I needed you. and I was always there for you. 2.Why don't you love me? and why did you think it was okay to play me so many times? Didn't you have any Idea that what you were doing was hurting me? Did you care? I hope you understand why I need you out of my life and also why it so damn hard. 3. When I conquer the world I hope you feel terrible and want to die and feel really bad for the bullshit you put me through. Also, your ass is fucking huge. 4. You are such a beautiful person and you deserve better. Also: I'm sorry if I took out my crazy angst on you...I guess that happens to friends sometimes... i lean on you too much sometimes and I apologize.. .you are great and I love you forever. 5. I'm jealous of you. Also you talk about yourself way too much. I secretly want you to lose focus and have lots of babies and forget about theatre so I can succeed. This is why we can never be true true friends. I almost know you feel the exact same way. :P 6. Don't give up! and don't push me away! I lurrrrrb you! 7. Can you just apologize, so everything can be hunky dory? Caught between friends is stupid. It's just a mattress. 8. I think we could have had something really cool. Too bad we were both chickens. At least I think that's what happened. I think now I'll think of you fondly and feel just a tinge of regret. Good luck in college. 9. What is your problem? like really. You don't even know me, so calm the fuck down. You must be threatened by me, Oh..how terrible for you. Get used to it bitch, cuz I;m gonna win. 10. I wish I'd met you. It's pretty tragic you died before I was born. Horses would have been legit. The stories about you are so funny. Mom really misses you. I wonder if I look like you. love hanna Nine things about myself. 1. I start my sophomore year of college tomorrow. 2. I have really high standards for myself 3. theatre must be in my blood, because i get crazy over it. 4. The name of the nail polish on my toes is "Jumpin' Jade" 5. I love to collage. 6.I love love love Betsey Johnson. 7.Sometimes I feel like i don't have enough friends. 8. I'm a rather anxious and paranoid individual. 9. I think Banana Splits might be my favorite food. UH OH. Eight ways to win my heart.(not in order) 1. make me laugh 2. appreciate my sense of style 3. Be Bold! 4. Be Dorky 5. don't put others down 6.recycle/care about the environment 7. give really good hugs 8. be able to cook! Seven things that cross my mind a lot. 1. the future 2. my voice 3.my health 4. my dreams 5. auditions! 6. carbs 7. fears Six things I do before I fall asleep 1. check my email 2.brush teeth 3. floss, hopefully 4. take off my glasses 5. turn off the lights 6. think Five people who mean a lot. (in no order whatsoever) 1. mom. 2. dad 3. emma 4. Joma 5. milo Four things you're wearing right now. 1. tank top 2. dad's sweats 3. undiewears 4. "white on white: nail polish. Three songs that you listen to often. 1. Gimme Gimme -Thoroughly Modern Millie 2. Boom Boom Pow- the black eyed-peas 3. say hey....by that one dude Two things you want to do before you die. 1. become a star 2. be happy with my life at the end One confession. 1. Sometimes I feel like I don't know who I am.

I hope I did this right!

Well hello cyber-world!  I just saw/read Julie&Julia and I'm a bit lost in life so I thought I'd start a blog.  I guess for self-reflection purposes mostly.  Anywho, this is where I'm at:

Hanna's life at a glance:

-I start my sophomore year of college in a month

- Opening night of the musical is in a week

- I've been suffering from vocal problems for  10 months now.  Sought out help included: Ear nose and throat specialist, hypnotherapist, reg therapist, speech therapist

-Reason I'm so concerned: aspiring actress/singer/musical theatre badass/ radio personality/star

-please heal me. thank you.

I thought maybe writing this silly thing would help me channel my stress and craziness which is apparently the cause of the throat delirium of doom. 

But let's be positive here

Things that are good:

I am alive.

My family rocks.

there is a roof over my head

I ate dinner

i have friends!

My wardrobe is pretty legit

I live a good life

I'm in an amazing show

I've become a better dancer

I go to college and get good grades

whooo I'm feeling better already.  Maybe this making positive list should be a daily habit.

I am totally addicted to the show GREEK

lalalalala

well my dear friend Daniel continues to IM me..so perhaps i shall go.  I wonder if anyone will read this. But does it matter?  I suspect we shall find out. 

Goodnight!