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RAWR TASTIC

So it's spring break and I can't sleep and i've just been bumming around the house and i just feel like a blob and i hate being home and i need more purpose and adventure in my life and I'm going back to school and RAWR

"A:KSJD:AKSJD;ASKJD:ALSKDJ:ALSKDJ:ALSKDJ:LASKD

so yeah

I HATE BREAK

and i dont even really like school

I like friends and theatre
GAH WHY AM I SO ANSTY

It's unpleasant. And i have wishy-washy plans with people for the rest of the week which bugs and probably means i have to get up early-ISH and I DONT WANT TO I DONT WANT TO HAEV ANY RESPONSIBILITIES I JUST WANT TO SLEEP IN BE LAZY AND BE HAPPY..well ok for now..i mean in the real times i want to conquer the world! MUAHAHAHAHAH

I feel like I could be FEROSH on a tv show..i just have to audition! I want to audition for groundlings. I want to have a car and feel like i can drive anywhere. I want to audition for commericials..and i am glad I am taking drama 130 in the fall so i can then eventually take clowning and acting for the camera...I need to get GOING

I am going to have a solid career in the entertainment field...cuz why not?! I'm fierce. I'm awesome. I should be sharing my radness with the world.


lkajs;dlkfjsdklf I just feel like I'm crawling in my skin. WHY

AND WHY DONT YOU LOVE ME!?!?


FUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKKKKKK

i just feel like i get stuck on boys. Like ok this one who was kinda magical..didn't work out..but we are gonna have class together 2 classes twice a week, Do i sit with him cuz we're friends or cuz i lurv him? Do i avoid him because i'm hurt by him or i just need to like distance myself and move on..or should i just act like whatever everything is fine..when what i really want is for him to want me again and us to be happpy carefree crazy people.

schnarf

I HATE BEING HOME

I thought being home for like a little over a week would be good..i'd chill, sleep in, catch up with my peeps...but i've hardly seen anyone and im going cuh-razzzyyyyyyyy. THANK GOD FOR SUMMER SCHOOL!! AND i'm going to get a job AND I'm going to get into one of the summer shows and it is going to be grande! GRAND I SAY!!!!!!

Do you ever wish you could rip parts of you who are out and throw them out the window? YEESH. I do. Maybe I should read. I like reading. I even checked out two books at the library, but what happened. I dunno. I guess I lost interest. LAME.

I want my effing grades. ok well I passed bio with a B- and I got an A- in ze lovely psych class. hoping for a good GPA..Dean's list? heeeey that'd be cool

Good things that happened today:
-Worked out!
-felt cute
-sang well!
-drove!
-walked the boosha.

More good things tomorrow. Possibly hanging with molly. YAAAAAY

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SOOO I'm freaking panicking.

CUz I have this major paper to write and I don't really know how to go about it and I only have like 3 days to write 9 pages and im FREAKING OUTTTTTTTT AHHHH luckily it is just my rough draft..however...AGH

and I worry that I am coming off like a stalker..but really I just like you so like me back ok? JEEZ

and...people at UCI don't like me...WTF..and I'm realizing that maybe i shouldn't go to this stupid school

and i continue to panic


PANICC


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I HATE BOYS AND WRITING CLASS and lack of acting classes

OHHHHHHHHHHHMMMM

It shall all work out. NOW let's focus!

FA SHO!

Well it is 2:33 AM..monday morning and I cannot sleep.  Though I did finish my term paper from drama 40A. HOLLA!!   I might be in lurv, but I'm not sure.  My voice is improving. so .lalala.  I think I might get a car for xmas. WTF.  WTF.

I just want love.

I want health

I want to get into Musical Theatre 2

I want to be better then all the bitches I hate

I want swine flu to disappear

I want to have an amazing role that I totally own and that puts me on the map.

I think I want to study at groundlings.

I feel like I should get a job.

Love me! Cast me! Appreciate me!

Why can't I SLEEEEEEEEEEEEP?

Gonna check facebook to see if anyone is online...

yaaay talking to mel

ok

I wonder what we won for the K house halloween thing

GAHH I ALKSJD:ALKDJALSKDJA:LSKDJA:LSKDJ:ASLKJD:ASLKDJ:LSKDJ:ALSKD

GRRRR> GRRR I SAY!!!!!!!!!!!

OK gonna edit my pretty pretty blog now :D

CIAO

INSOMNIA

yanked from Teresa, gratzi. Countdown:Share Today at 2:54am Ten Things I Wish I Could Say to Ten Different People. (but don't say their name) 1. It's taken a really long time for me to realize that you aren't so good for me. And that's hard cuz you've been in my life forever. Sorry if I seem wierd or distant, but you let me down when I needed you. and I was always there for you. 2.Why don't you love me? and why did you think it was okay to play me so many times? Didn't you have any Idea that what you were doing was hurting me? Did you care? I hope you understand why I need you out of my life and also why it so damn hard. 3. When I conquer the world I hope you feel terrible and want to die and feel really bad for the bullshit you put me through. Also, your ass is fucking huge. 4. You are such a beautiful person and you deserve better. Also: I'm sorry if I took out my crazy angst on you...I guess that happens to friends sometimes... i lean on you too much sometimes and I apologize.. .you are great and I love you forever. 5. I'm jealous of you. Also you talk about yourself way too much. I secretly want you to lose focus and have lots of babies and forget about theatre so I can succeed. This is why we can never be true true friends. I almost know you feel the exact same way. :P 6. Don't give up! and don't push me away! I lurrrrrb you! 7. Can you just apologize, so everything can be hunky dory? Caught between friends is stupid. It's just a mattress. 8. I think we could have had something really cool. Too bad we were both chickens. At least I think that's what happened. I think now I'll think of you fondly and feel just a tinge of regret. Good luck in college. 9. What is your problem? like really. You don't even know me, so calm the fuck down. You must be threatened by me, Oh..how terrible for you. Get used to it bitch, cuz I;m gonna win. 10. I wish I'd met you. It's pretty tragic you died before I was born. Horses would have been legit. The stories about you are so funny. Mom really misses you. I wonder if I look like you. love hanna Nine things about myself. 1. I start my sophomore year of college tomorrow. 2. I have really high standards for myself 3. theatre must be in my blood, because i get crazy over it. 4. The name of the nail polish on my toes is "Jumpin' Jade" 5. I love to collage. 6.I love love love Betsey Johnson. 7.Sometimes I feel like i don't have enough friends. 8. I'm a rather anxious and paranoid individual. 9. I think Banana Splits might be my favorite food. UH OH. Eight ways to win my heart.(not in order) 1. make me laugh 2. appreciate my sense of style 3. Be Bold! 4. Be Dorky 5. don't put others down 6.recycle/care about the environment 7. give really good hugs 8. be able to cook! Seven things that cross my mind a lot. 1. the future 2. my voice 3.my health 4. my dreams 5. auditions! 6. carbs 7. fears Six things I do before I fall asleep 1. check my email 2.brush teeth 3. floss, hopefully 4. take off my glasses 5. turn off the lights 6. think Five people who mean a lot. (in no order whatsoever) 1. mom. 2. dad 3. emma 4. Joma 5. milo Four things you're wearing right now. 1. tank top 2. dad's sweats 3. undiewears 4. "white on white: nail polish. Three songs that you listen to often. 1. Gimme Gimme -Thoroughly Modern Millie 2. Boom Boom Pow- the black eyed-peas 3. say hey....by that one dude Two things you want to do before you die. 1. become a star 2. be happy with my life at the end One confession. 1. Sometimes I feel like I don't know who I am.

I hope I did this right!

Well hello cyber-world!  I just saw/read Julie&Julia and I'm a bit lost in life so I thought I'd start a blog.  I guess for self-reflection purposes mostly.  Anywho, this is where I'm at:

Hanna's life at a glance:

-I start my sophomore year of college in a month

- Opening night of the musical is in a week

- I've been suffering from vocal problems for  10 months now.  Sought out help included: Ear nose and throat specialist, hypnotherapist, reg therapist, speech therapist

-Reason I'm so concerned: aspiring actress/singer/musical theatre badass/ radio personality/star

-please heal me. thank you.

I thought maybe writing this silly thing would help me channel my stress and craziness which is apparently the cause of the throat delirium of doom. 

But let's be positive here

Things that are good:

I am alive.

My family rocks.

there is a roof over my head

I ate dinner

i have friends!

My wardrobe is pretty legit

I live a good life

I'm in an amazing show

I've become a better dancer

I go to college and get good grades

whooo I'm feeling better already.  Maybe this making positive list should be a daily habit.

I am totally addicted to the show GREEK

lalalalala

well my dear friend Daniel continues to IM me..so perhaps i shall go.  I wonder if anyone will read this. But does it matter?  I suspect we shall find out. 

Goodnight!